Mark's Letters

To The World,

Toilet paper rolls have only one direction they can go on. If you don’t understand that, then I feel sorry for you.


Mr. Barker

To Bob Barker,

You were an amazing host of The Price is Right, as I think you’re well aware. You were hilarious in Happy Gilmore, and you were one of the most entertaining personalities on TV, and I love you. You made me happy.


To Mumsy

To my Mom,

You are my mother, and will always be my mother, for that alone, I am grateful.

You have made my life better because of being a part of it.

You are the best mother I could ever ask for, and I am proud of who you are.

Though I may sometimes get tired of your shenanigans, I love you just the same, and I will love you until I die.

You are the only Mother I have ever had, but I think you are the best Mother I could have had. I have to say, I think I hit it pretty lucky, having you for a mother, because you’re a wonderful person.

Anyone who mocks you, is derisive, shuns you, or hates you, is a fool, and doesn’t see the real you that I know and have known my entire life.

You are a genuine, passionate, caring person, and if you ever die (here’s hoping you just won’t) you would be sorely missed.

I love you, and I always will. Don’t ever think otherwise.

I will always support you and be proud of who you are, no matter what.


To The World,

One of the most important parts of who I am as a person is actually critical thinking, reading and listening. If you’re unfamiliar with this concept, my version of it is this:

Sometimes you’re confronted with information, be it a video, text [book/website/blog/letter/form/ad/etc], a person talking to you, or any other form that information may take. By sometimes, I mean, all the time. Like always.

When this is happening, you might be reading, watching TV, talking to a person, the situation is not important, what is important is how you handle the information. Critical thinking in literacy is simply deciding the bias, the reason the author has for pushing this information on you, whether you’re even the intended audience for it, whether it is factual, and a whole load of other factors.

When I hear a person talking to me or within earshot for example, I think “What do they mean? Is what they’re saying accurate? Should I trust whatever they’re saying? Does it matter to me? Why are they saying it?” all in more or less a split second of quick critical thinking.

So let’s have a quick example. Say someone tells you 9/11 was an inside job. Say someone comes up to you and talks about how the NSA is listening to all our phone calls. Say someone tells you a story about their best friend who got drunk, and did something crazy, say a website tells you how you can get a bigger penis, or offers you all sorts of promises. Say a blog tells you how apples are the healthiest things in the world and lists 10 reasons why they can help you, and offers no scientific proof.

In all of these situations you NEVER take whatever you’re hearing as straight fact and just be like “OH, COOL, NEW INFORMATION. THIS IS ALL TRUTH.” Most people do think critically like this either sometimes/ most of the time/normally but I just want to remind you, the world, anyone, that you need to be always keeping one eye open. Not everyone is working in your best interests, everyone may or may not have an “angle”.

Never trust everything, or really anything, without a good reason. Have faith in those you know to be honest within reason, have a list of websites you know to be faithful and diligent in their “truthiness”.

But don’t believe strangers, don’t trust everything you hear. Double-check. Triple-check. Research. Keep yourself safe, be cautious, and always think critically.


To Emily

Dearest Emily,

I’ve written you so many words since I’ve known you. So many syllables, letters, characters, phrases, and sentences sent in your direction, floating toward you like a little text river flowing from some ocean in my mind, full of thoughts and floating letters swirling inside my head.

What makes this letter any different than all the words that have come before it? Nothing, really. It’s a little more formal, and it’s public, and it may rely on some of the words we’ve exchanged as it’s pedestal. Experience builds upward after all, not downward.

So what do I have to say in this fair letter, written on this day, to my best friend in the universe? I think you know what I want to say. I want you to know how much you mean to me, how special you are, how without you my life would be a dry lake in a desert, and me, so very thirsty. You are the rain in my desert, the ice cream in my dessert, the ice in my drink, the CPU of my computer, the eggshell on an egg, the light in the darkness. You protect me, love me, surprise me, adore me, help me, sustain me, and you are my eyes when I can’t see. You guide me, you help me take off and hit the clouds, but you’re also there to ground me when I’m out of fuel, and make sure I don’t crash in a spectacular fireball.

You are my best friend because you get me, and I’ve spent so much of my life trying to impress you, show you how I deserve to be loved, and you’ve always been my support, my shield, and my hug-able teddy bear, like a spiked teddy bear which creates a force field around us when hugged. I wish I could express myself as fully as the sun, and as expressively as a mime does, although everybody seems to hate mimes, which I don’t get.

You are the friend I never had when I was younger, but since I’ve known you my life has always improved and I have become stronger and better from knowing you.

But most of all, the real gift you’ve always given me is not your love, per se, but your humour, and our shared experiences. You make me happy, and I like to think I make you happy. I do try very, very hard, although I am bad at… well, anything social, of course, especially if it involves someone seeing or hearing me, as you know by now. You’re by far the funniest and most well-spoken, out-spoken girl I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing, and you’re references are always current, which is pretty damn amazing. In the end, we mesh well because we both are into the same things by and large, and we like to share in what we both love, together, rather than having different niche-y interests and having nothing in common.

You are the smartest, funniest, best, kindest, strongest, proudest, and I dare’n’t say prettiest girl I’ve ever known, and you constantly amaze and astound me simply by being you. I’m lucky, as always, to have the privilege of knowing you, let alone you calling me a true friend; a best friend. You will always be my favorite person ever, and I only hope you never change, and that you never stop trying to keep our friendship alive, because if you stopped trying, It’d be up to me to keep us in touch, and I’m just so damn introverted that I can’t handle the task of extending a hand of friendship unannounced.

Nonetheless, I will always love you, and you are my best friend forever, and I really do cherish every moment I spend with you, and I’m proud of who you are as a human being, and I’m proud to know you, and I only wish I could show everyone how amazing you are all the time, and I’m so glad others (like your students) can see a tiny snapshot of just how incredible you are as a human being. You’re simply amazing, unreal, and unparalleled, and every moment spent with you reminds me why these things are true.

Don’t ever abandon me, pal. I need you.